Domestic Violence

In case you haven’t heard, here’s the headline. I was assaulted by my (now ex) roommate this past Friday. She was arrested and is currently residing in the local jail. I am recovering physically.

This was someone I called a friend, and a sister. Emotionally, my heart is hurt. Domestic Violence (DV) is a terrible thing. And under Georgia law, because we lived together, that’s how it is classified. Unbelievably, to me at least, Georgia law treats a first occasion DV as a misdemeanor no matter the severity of the injuries. Because of my age, though, it’s also considered elder abuse. Georgia Adult Protective Services has opened a case as well.

A dear friend, upon hearing the news, immediately jumped into action, and started a GoFundMe to help me get somewhere out of her reach. Don’t click that link if you don’t want to see me black and blue. The donations have already exceeded the goal.

I have a plan, and a place to go. No, I won’t say publicly where I am going. If you know me well enough that you think I might be willing to tell you, then you can ask. If I am comfortable telling you, I will. But if you know her at all, in any way, don’t bother. I won’t risk her finding me again.

She has threatened my life and my livelihood. She threatened to have her friends beat me. My safety, above all else, must be paramount. I spent most of the day Friday in an ER. I don’t have a concussion, which was my main concern. There are no broken bones, either. I do have significant injuries to my face, and numerous contusions on my skull. I have cuts and scrapes elsewhere on my body. There was no weapon other than her fists, but she outweighs me by at least 100 lbs.

I knew this was coming, if I am honest with myself. She had become more verbally abusive over the past couple of years. I kept my mouth shut because I feared for my life if I confronted her about that emotional and verbal abuse. I am far from the first DV victim to acknowledge that. I do want to say this: If you too are in a similar situation, get out now! You have resources you have no idea of. No matter how much your abuser has convinced you that you are worthless, it is not true.

You deserve safety. You deserve kindness. No matter what you have done, or how bad your relationship has gotten, you do not deserve abuse. Whether that abuse is physical, emotional, verbal, or financial. Get out. It will only get worse. It will not “get better.”

This is incredibly hard to admit. But maybe someone will see this, and think about what I have said. Maybe someone will think about a friend in a similar situation and offer help. I can only hope.