Like a bad penny

13 Dec

I just won’t go away and stay away. A lot has happened since I last visited with you, some good, some not even close to good. That relationship I was losing? Yeah, I lost it. I suffered a nervous breakdown, or as my psychiatrist called it, a “medicine induced bi-polar episode”. The episode was apparently brought on by the antidepressant Cymbalta, which I had used for some time. I had recently gotten a dosage increase though, to try to improve the situation I last wrote about.

The dosage increase brought on some serious adverse reactions, including suicidality, hyper-irritability, overreaction to relatively minor stressors, to name a few. The net result was that the family who was living with me, helping me cope, no longer felt safe around me, and left about a month ago. Contact since then has been minimal, and strained.

Apparently, there is some discussion about formalizing a new diagnosis of bipolar III, (also Bipolar III Disorder, or Cyclothymia). My behavior during that breakdown drove those people from my life, and there is little chance they will come back. My fault entirely. That doesn’t make it hurt any less though.

So what good then? Well, as a result of that breakdown, I started therapy, and am seeing a psychiatrist for medical management of my issues. In the process, I have recovered Janet, and brought her back from a near death episode. I am attending a GLBT friendly Christian church (Resurrection MCC), as Janet, for fellowship with other people facing similar issues to mine (bigotry, discrimination, etc.). There are even a few other transgender people who attend the church. I’ve also visited with the TG Center in Houston. In the process, I took advantage of a free HIV testing program, and confirmed I am still HIV negative. That’s certainly a good thing!


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